Yep. You probably didn't know I was an ordained minister. It's okay until my brother called the other day I had forgotten it myself. A long long time ago I had read a book by Abby Hoffman called "Steal This Book." Ironically, I bought the book. In it were all sorts of tricks to get things for free, essentially by stealing - or taking advantage of loopholes I guess. One of the free things in the book was to become an ordain minister in the Universal Life Church. The process was fairly uncomplicated you sent an S.A.S.E. (self addressed stamped envelope) to them and they mailed you back your Ordination Card. I did that. The Universal Life Church has only one precept "Do only that which is right." It continues.."Every person has the natural right (and the responsibility) to peacefully determine what is right. We are advocates of religious freedom." Okay I can live within those guidelines and actually like the idea of letting everyone determine what their own relationship with their Supreme Beingness is. As long as that belief doesn't encroach my right to be - it's all good.
So when my brother called and said HE had become a minister too. I decided to revive my preacherhood and take back the moniker of the Reverend Catfish String. Not as a way of saying "hey I art more holier" more as a way of saying "hey I am trying to walk a spiritual path too".
But being so free and open the Universal Life Church has NO seminary to speak of. And I felt a little guilty just deciding to paste the title on without any effort to "earn" it. So for my as yet to be named church, I instituted our seminary. I also graduated. Took about two hours.
I watched "Pale Rider" with Clint Eastwood. I'll probably watch it again to pick up the finer points of preachering but I think I got the big ones.
1) You can give hope to the lost and lift their spirits by slamming a sledge hammer into the nards of the bad guy.
2) Turn down 15 year olds wanting to learn about love and stuff.
3) Turn the other cheek? My ass.
So I'm ready to go out into the world and give hope to the hopeless. But no coddling you whiny rich bastards that are ruining everything.
Amen.
So when my brother called and said HE had become a minister too. I decided to revive my preacherhood and take back the moniker of the Reverend Catfish String. Not as a way of saying "hey I art more holier" more as a way of saying "hey I am trying to walk a spiritual path too".
But being so free and open the Universal Life Church has NO seminary to speak of. And I felt a little guilty just deciding to paste the title on without any effort to "earn" it. So for my as yet to be named church, I instituted our seminary. I also graduated. Took about two hours.
I watched "Pale Rider" with Clint Eastwood. I'll probably watch it again to pick up the finer points of preachering but I think I got the big ones.
1) You can give hope to the lost and lift their spirits by slamming a sledge hammer into the nards of the bad guy.
2) Turn down 15 year olds wanting to learn about love and stuff.
3) Turn the other cheek? My ass.
So I'm ready to go out into the world and give hope to the hopeless. But no coddling you whiny rich bastards that are ruining everything.
Amen.
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